Beauty, Health and Sexuality. Cosmetics, diet, fashion, sex...

Quick Thinker!

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business
function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring
back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and
the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Jack asks, "Son...what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke
the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you
ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose
and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she
tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, bitch, I'm married !!!"

Broken table - $200 ....
Hot breakfast - $5 ...
Two aspirins - $0.65 ....
Saying the right thing, at the right time ... Priceless

A Very Short Story

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out window, "PIG!"
Man yells out window, "B I T C H!"
Man rounds next curve.
Man crashes into HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
Thought for the day: If only men would listen. . .

Found this beautiful winter poem and thought it might be a comfort to you, especially with the weather we've had lately! It was inspirational to me, and it's very well written. Enjoy!